it's time.

it's time. today i've decided its time for a lot of things..

it's time to cut my hair or do something different with it.  i always think it will be so fun and so pretty and manageable when it's long. it's not.  most the time it's just long and unmanageable and not fun and pretty 10% of the time.  so it's about that time to cut it short and embrace the fact that it's just not meant to be long. 

 
something between these two will do the trick :)








it's time to get it together.  no need to go into all the gory details. it's just time to get it together and let. it. goooooooo.

because that is true...  

and so is this ...

 

 

 

now. sometimes i forget those 2 things and life gets seemingly overwhelming again. but the reality is.. the person who is truly meant from me won't "shrink or shun the fight".. and it is just as simple. as. that. 

 

so maybe there aren't a lot of things listed up there but this much i know..

 

it's time to make something happen and with the perspective i've recently gained and am continuing to gain ..it's giving me the umph! to get it done...

 

 and for the first time in a long time..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

... i'm starting to believe myself  :)

 

 



madness

Sometimes things happen... and then before we know it they dont happen anymore.  Poetic right?  Its funny to me how we wait and wait for something to occur and then it does. And it feels right and good.  And then as quickly as it came, it departs.  Why?? That's where I'm at and learning to understand.  My mom always used to say "I feel like I've been drug through a knot hole backwards." Well me too.  It's draining and I'm sure tired.  But I'm keeping the faith that there is a method to all this madness. or its really just madness cause.. 

 I'm not down with that. 

tender mercies.

this week I've decided its time to get back on the horse. I've let some things slip in my life and it has noticeably drawn me away from where i want to be. it took me to a place that was uncomfortable. where i was unhappy and unsatisfied with all that i was doing. in my studies this week i have focused on coming back. on the turn around that would bring me closer to where i want to ultimately be… and that's with my heavenly father… forever.

this morning as i sat down to study. i asked that i would find something that would touch my soul and direct me, encourage me, or quite frankly help shove me in the right direction.  i decided i wanted to watch some of the mormon messages on youtube. 

[insert tender mercy here]

what i found was exactly what i needed to hear..

dont you quit. you keep walking. you keep trying. there is help and happiness ahead. some blessings come soon, some come late and some don’t come till heaven. but for those who embrace the gospel of jesus christ.. they come. it will be alright in the end. trust god and believe in good things to come.

He knows me so well..
i love him so much..

i’ll make you banana pancakes..

man time has just been zooming by. hello end of august… almost september?!!! geez. i cant believe it. things are good here in charlotte. in fact they are great. im living with some really great people and working with some of the same. things couldnt have turned out much better for a random move up to charlotte. im not starting school back right away. no need to rush right?? ha. i’m just livin one day to the next and gettin’ by the best i can. 

i was talking to born, my trainer from the mission, and telling her about my recent move and the randomness surrounding it. and she said “yeah doesnt suprise me. sounds like you. or sounds like something you would do”. when it hit me.. i always wanted to be free willed and independent. and well i am. i did just up and move to ATL because. and then i went on my mission because well, quite frankly, its what the Lord told me to do. and then yep, i just up and moved to charlotte. cause its what i felt was right. i like it. i like this random life, and im glad to call it MINE! :) i’m exactly where and who i wanted to be this very moment of my life. 

so last weekend. kathleen, will spencer and i went to see jack johnson and g.love. we were prepared to have pretty good seats … about 13 rows back or so.. but what we were unprepared for was a pre-show sneak peek of all pre shows. so we got the insider hook up that there was going to be a mini show and went and staked out a place to stand. which just happened to be front row maybe 4 feet from the stage. and about 30 minutes later it was like we were having our own personal concert with g.love, alo and JACK! it was incredible. star struck? yes. i aint afraid to say it. it was awesome!  

you know me and g.love. and jack. we’re besties.

I don’t know where I’m goin’ but I’m sure on my way..

 

What a summer. Ive come to have a pretty strong love…dislike (not hate) for the lifestyle I live here at the beach. On one hand… I could not ask for a better place to be. Mixed right in the middle of paradise. I am surrounded by the waters and sandy beaches of the beautiful atlantic ocean.  Sunshiny days abound and there is always someone willing to be a partner in beach bum-ness. Paradise i tell ya. Because it is so amazing. so carefree. so summer. A relationship of sorts with the season develops.  A true love of sorts for the laughs, the memories, the salty hair and skin days and the warm summer nights. Then comes the dislike…right when you feel life couldnt get much better. BOOM! its over. Life speeds quickly back into view. People depart and all I’m left with is sunkissed skin and memories of the best friends and the greatest  of times. Its rough.  But tis’ the life of a southern summer. I love it and sometimes I greatly dislike it.. But I’d NEVER trade it..

So the question of the moment is “what are you doing these days?” And i’ve got it all figured out. I’m ready to tell you…
ehem, I dont know.

I am about to move to charlotte with one of the best friends this world has ever seen. And i’m going to make something happen. What? I dont know. A job? Better yet a career?? Back to school? I dont know. I just know its time for this girl to take a leap and fly. and see if i soar or if i flap til’ I cant flap no more. (i didnt intend for that to rhyme. its just my true rapper inside).  I dont know what im supposed to be doing right now or exactly where… but I know I can spend my whole life talking about it. I gotta get up and MOVE! and movin’s what I’m doin..

Here recently “OH the places you’ll go!” Has repeated through my mind time and again. so I looked it up and a part that usually never stands out especially stood out today…

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

So call me Buxbaum… and watch close. cause TODAY IS MY DAY! :)

just rollin’ down the river..

check, check, check it out… last weekend i was lucky enough to sneak away for a weekend bound for the NC mountains to see my BEST! that’s right a 3 day weekend with some of the best people i know! :) we had soo much fun. friday we went shopping and the budget i was so proud of for the weekend was quickly BLOWN! i’m sorry but some deals just cant be passed up. budget or no budget. anyways.. saturday the whole gang of us went tubing down some random river. oh my stars. we had a blast. i mean it was very lazy river-esk. minus the random “grand rapids” we would occassionally pass through. and all was fun and games until i straight up fell out the tube and was being drug through the rapid.. tube in one hand and one flip flop in the other. SHHESSH! the faces of those who passed by safely situated atop their tubes were varied. there was the laughers. who found my misery an added bonus to their day. there was the occassional “unamused river grinch”. this person rode by and didnt give a grin, chuckle or any sense of emotion. but watched as i pathetically screamed and “attempted” to save my self. then. then. there was the river wanna be super heros. those who had all the good intention of saving me. but just barely slipped out of reach. those whos faces told me i looked like i was really about to die. or that i was just a great actress. but through all of these categories of people… did anyone succeed in my rescue. nope. haha. most just passed through made it to safer waters and continued to watch the gong show. thank you to all of you. im glad my embarrassment and momentary torture was of entertainment to you :)

 

all in all it was a great weekend.  i spent it all with friends who are more like family. and in my favorite place of all places… the sunshine. what more can a girl as for?? not a thing. 

 

now. its 10:49pm and there’s nothing i want more than… BROWNIES! :) so its to the kitchen i go…

 

goodnight and SWEETdreams..

poor unfortunate fool..

anyone who knows me will know that a frog or toad of any size will make me scream and run like a little girl. i do not find them slightly interesting, exciting or anything that relates to good. but when i saw this today in the door jam of the back door all i could think to myself was…

 

 

what a POOR UNFORTUNATE FOOL.